I’m a trainer but I haven’t always been. My husband, Nick, has been for about 20 years and is hands down the best trainer I know. He can watch someone walk and tell them exactly what imbalances they have and how to fix them. Me? I’m getting there, but like everything else, his expertise has come through hard work, dedication, and research.
Am I good? Heck, yes I am! However, part of what makes me a good trainer is my passion and that my fitness journey is like most people’s, a rollercoaster of success and failures. And the only reason I bring this up is that I know sometimes when people are ready to get help to either get in shape, lose weight, recover from an injury they think that a trainer could never understand the position they find themselves in. I’m here to tell you that it is just baloney…. big, giant, pink, gooey baloney!
A few other things about me; I am 39 years old, a mother of four, a thyroid cancer survivor, and a pretty committed yo-yo dieter. I became a trainer when my older three children were 8, 6, and 4 and I thought my days of needing to lose weight were behind me. Lo and behold baby number 4 comes along, and I do pretty well while pregnant due to gestational diabetes, but guess who went hog wild after number four joined the party? Yup, you guessed it-the trainer who would never need to lose weight again. Did I lose weight again? You bet I did but before we get into that we have something else to discuss.
Let’s talk about being uncomfortable in the gym and uncomfortable in your body. Many people are uncomfortable in the gym because they don’t have the experience with exercise, and that’s totally understandable. I couldn’t go into someone’s office sit down and be successful at their job for so many reasons-including inexperience. Now add being uncomfortable in your current body for any number of reasons; weight gain, injury, illness…the reasons are limitless and personal and the challenge of the fitness journey increases. And for that reason, I’m writing this and getting personal about my struggles. If you are ready to start your fitness journey and are scared, uncomfortable, or unsure I want you to know you are not alone. If you walk into Peak Physique Fitness each and every trainer you will meet has their own struggles and can absolutely empathize with yours.
Ok, with that all being said I can finally get to my story-no one has ever accused me of being concise. In February of 2019 Nick and I decided it was time for us to take a leap of faith and I would come back to the gym full time. As I mentioned before we have 4 children so it was not a decision we made easily. I desperately missed training and needed the flexibility of working for myself so I could miss less activities, be there when the kids were sick, and not be restricted by a regular 9 to 5 job. I could not be more grateful for the sacrifices Nick has made to build this business that allows me this flexibility. February and March were going fantastically and I was thoroughly enjoying myself and navigating my new role. April. I am taking a deep breath even before I start to type this part. I fell down the stairs on April 2, 2019, and tore my entire labrum and dislocated my shoulder. A bit of background information-I had surgery on my shoulder at 15 because of repeated dislocations and had worked very hard the past few years to strengthen it. I had surgery to repair the shoulder May 10th and it was fairly extensive. I had anchors placed in the front and back of the shoulder, my entire labrum was repaired and they shaved an area of my bone.
My recovery was incredibly difficult for me. I had not mentally prepared myself for the pain, frustration, or amount of time it would take for me to recover. I underestimated the amount of time I would be away from the gym, the amount of time I’d need help with every day tasks, the amount of time I wouldn’t be able to exercise, and the lack of sleep I’d be experiencing. At my 10-week post op appoint I found out I had frozen shoulder which happens to 1 in 20 people that have a surgery like mine and I was scheduled for another surgery the next day. Fast forward to today-almost a year from the injury and I am just now starting to exercise again.
I AM STARTING OVER. I am 30 lbs heavier than I was a year ago, I have lost my muscle definition, I have lost the strength I was so very proud of, and I have created some pretty crappy eating habits. And I’m a trainer. I knew how to avoid gaining weight but I did NOT do it. I knew how to not create poor habits but guess what…I did it anyway. Depression set in when I wasn’t able to control my anxiety or stress the way I have always preferred-through exercise. I lost my outlet and for a bit lost myself to pain, frustration and anger. I was so angry that I was finally doing the job I wanted to be doing and I couldn’t. I couldn’t physically do it and I was irate with my body. So I pouted, and I ate, and I pouted, and I pushed myself too hard and then I’d pout because of the pain. It was ugly people-UGLY.
So I’m here now writing this declaring that I’m ready to start over and that I know how you feel. Most likely our situations are not the same but I promise I know the frustration and the anger that can come with not being in the body you are comfortable in whether it be from chronic pain, illness, depression, weight gain, or all of the above.
At Peak Physique we know it is not just about picking things up and putting them down. We can help you navigate the very real fear and anxiety surrounding changing your body and your habits. When you are ready we are here to help and we’re in it with you.
Contact us when you’re ready, and we’ll be happy to help.